Episode Notes:

From his roots in Architecture to his experience in all aspects of corporate growth and success, Basile has honed his insights to help others find the easiest, authentic path to lasting relationships and thriving business through networking.  His networking events (in person and online) are designed to impart the specific know-how to properly connect so participants realize maximum return on their time and efforts.

If the thought of walking into a room of strangers to make sales makes you shudder, Basile has the 2 basic rules that will flip the switch from panic to profitable partnerships. It really can be that easy!

In this episode we discuss:

• Following the natural order of business for best success
• The secret to making sales with the help of people who don’t want to buy from you
• How proper networking helps others achieve their goals
• Why interest is the key to powerful business connections
• 2 simple steps to successful networking, with the power to heal the world
• What to tell yourself to make networking stress-free

Basile is offering our audience a free session to learn how they can fine tune their own networking skills and connect with the thriving BL Networking community. https://www.blnetworking.net/freesession.html

Susi Vine: Welcome back. I am so happy to have you with us this week for another episode of Happify. And today I am joined by Basile Lemba with a story, unlike one that you’ve heard and a mission that is perhaps not so common, but certainly should be. And I know he’s got some valuable insights for you today, Basile was born in Cameroon, Western Africa, and moved to France at the age of 14, where he studied and worked in architect.

And offer with a nonprofit organization, brought him to the U S where he took on a senior executive position, overseeing public relations, marketing sales, and promotions, and procurement and delivery. And more 10 years later, he moved to Northern Virginia to take on a new challenge, to start his own business.

While attending most area business network meetings Basile felt something was missing. Eventually that something finally became crystal clear to him. He discovered that many of the businesses attending these events lacked the specific know-how to properly connect.

With one another to properly connect with one another. He made it his business to optimize networking and networking events set up. So business owners and other professionals could come to get educate. Network and get results and leave totally fulfilled Basile now stands ready to help even more small businesses by sharing with them a truly workable networking, know how that will help them achieve financial success and personal improves.

And I know the first time we connected bus seal that I certainly resonated with the value of your work and the support that you have for people in business and entrepreneurs, where they are their business. Because as a former networker myself, I know how difficult it can be. Not every personality thrives in those environments.

And then at the end of the day, you got a pocket full of cards. And where do you go now? So I’m so grateful that this mission has become yours and you’re sharing your work with the world. Thanks for joining us today. 

Basile Lemba: My pleasure, Susi Latin, I’m glad you haven’t. 

Susi Vine: And so I’d love for you to share with our audience a little bit about why this felt so important to you.

Obviously networking can take up a lot of time and energy. And so when these events are not well run, what were you seeing happens in your own experience and in the people who were coming to these events? 

Basile Lemba: Well, the purpose of networking event is to bring people together. And for that to happen, it has to be organized with that intention.

So it does happen. This became clear to me with 20 years ago, I went to networking events and I was told it was 150 a mile. So it was 150 people there. And I paid up to $150 for a launch. At the end of the event, I wound up with three business. Yes, there was 150 people there. It was jam packed. Somebody spoke from beginning to end and when the time two o’clock and people running out, never got a chance to talk to anybody.

That’s why I realized that it has to be organized with, and as you put it properly, in fact, it was one after that, that I saw the business. People like. I see Suzy, when you go to an event, what do you want to see happening? I wrote that down, but if you don’t want, I wrote that up. So I created a breakfast event and I spoke of that form.

I do want it to meet one another. So organize it so they can go one to one meeting, one another on one-on-one. And in that process, I realized one day that one of the guys did not know what to see, what. Now realize, oh my God, they don’t know how to network. And that’s how I started putting together everything that I learned and came up with a workable know-how 

Susi Vine: I think that’s really insightful.

And so perhaps our listeners. I haven’t been a part of networking events. However, being that we are in this time of the great resignation, as they love to call it, you have to have a catchy name for everything that we experienced these days. But so many people are reevaluating where they are, the work that they’re doing and thinking about doing other work.

So. Interviewing to get a job is networking to a degree. And then once you’re in that job, creating the network with your coworkers, but certainly those other business connections and opportunities, potential partnerships, it all comes down to knowing how to build your network. So these events specifically, typically are breakfasts or lunches.

Perhaps after work mixers, where you go with the premise of getting to meet and connect with potential business partners. But if it’s so structured, like you say that first meeting two hours filled top to bottom, you haven’t even had a chance to meet many people and shake many hands. So there’s a lot of places in which these events can be difficult in the way that they’re organized.

But Jen, as you say, knowing how to. Actually network and a lot of people, I think aren’t married, perhaps familiar with that, unless they’re in more of a sales and marketing position. So what are some of your initial guidelines? And I know that you have created a lot of resources, so we can certainly let our listeners find out more on your website.

I’m sure to, 

Basile Lemba: well,

how can I put it? Well, let me put it through the.

The know-how of how to network has never been developed. And there is a reason for that. Well, I remember when I was a kid, my uncle was training to become a pilot and we wanted him to take the plane, the 7 47. And he said, wait a no, no, it doesn’t work that way. I got to learn the theory. First, I got to spend hours and hours was instructor, and then maybe I become co-pilot and then maybe I become a pilot.

We will. We wanted to tell the neighbor, you see that plane going that’s him. That was not about to happen.

Susi Vine: Get those instant results. 

Basile Lemba: Similarly, on the other hand, you have professions such as civil engineer. He’s supposed to build a bridge, then make sure that it’s properly planned, because we are all concerned that if he doesn’t build a properly, somebody getting there with the car, they fall down. The point is trends thoroughly when he sees danger as imminent

driving a car. For example, it’s example, if you want to get into a car, you have some police officer attending between you and the car. So do you have a driver license? If you say no, they say you can get in here again. They don’t want you to get there because there is a potentiality of dangerous. Okay. Now let’s say you’re going to a networking event.

You’ll never see a police officer coming to you and say, do you have a networking license? I ask that you reason for that we laughing, but it’s serious. The reason for that is they that whatever happened networking event can happen, nobody’s going to die. So there was no need to codify. That’s what all these years networking has never been qualified.

That’s what the definition get this. The definition of networking in the dictionary is incorrect. If the culture does not have the correct definition, they couldn’t possibly have the correct know-how. Do you understand it is because it’s not dangerous. Whatever happened nobody’s died when it comes to the pilot people.

My dad, when it’s come to the bridge people, my dad, when it’s come to the car, somebody made that. So therefore we make sure that they are trained

when it comes to networking. There was no. There’s no networking oil. When I started putting the network in, know how to get it out with Netta was 15 years ago, people are coming to the breakfast event telling me you need to write a book on networking. You need to make a course of networking. And my reaction was, excuse me, the reason for that, because I’m not here.

You can tell by my accent, I live I’m from Africa, lived in Europe and then came to the. I didn’t know what they knew. Did he know whenever I went to a bookstore or a library or so books worked on networking. Why did that? They needed another one. It didn’t make sense to me until I run into definition.

That was incorrect. And I run to somebody, my net, my networking event. We didn’t know how to network then. Oh God.

And that’s how I came to put it together. Everybody has their own way to network. As I was saying to you, I was saying to Susie, what if everybody has their only to drive a car? Do we be a lot of accident? Highway that’s the bottom line. It has never been qualified. You hear, for example? Well, he’s an introvert.

He’s an introvert. He’s an extrovert. He’s a natural. Okay. Nobody would say he’s a natural driver or is an introvert driver. Why? Because we have to correct no house.

Introvert extrovert, this yellow, pink, blue, brown, whatever it is, we don’t discuss that. We teach them, they get into the car. They can go from work to home from home to work. It comes down to having the workable know-how and exact precise and workable one that has never existed when it comes to next. 

Susi Vine: So, where does the definition fall short or what do you see as the most common misconceptions for people who are going without any knowledge or experience into networking?

Basile Lemba: Well, you have to let, this is what we have to understand. Suzy networking has existed since God, since Goodwill. I thought that people existed. They didn’t, they knew what we’re doing. Not irrelevant. They did it anyway.

So that’s what we used to teaching, networking, teaching. What I’ve been doing this in good was a boat. It doesn’t matter how it was doing, but you’re doing, it might be a lot of when I was in high school, we have an orchestra kids for my age playing. Okay. But there was playing by approximation. They hear the sound of the song and then they take the guitar.

The day of the concert, their biggest fear was playing the wrong note. I wish they know tomatoes are coming to me.

So while we do is we teach people do notes. So now they know what they’re doing. Yes. They have been doing do always do it at the definition of society’s human being. And networking sits squarely on top of it. It will be a relationship whichever way it is, but we’re just making sure that relationships is done properly.

That we, I do what I do or not people network, all I’m trying, all I’m doing is teaching them the notes so they can do it successful, which will benefit them as well as the people they are. Just like in driving the car because you know, and drive your car properly, you can make it home. And the people on the road also can make it home.

Same thing.

But we’ve had that lack of knowledge. Not only can tell what can happen on the road and believe me or not what’s happening in networking arena. You don’t want to know

Susi Vine: it’s so true. I think everyone who has been to a networking event has been either in this situation. And this is one that I can relate to walking into a room where it seems like everyone else is in conversation. And you don’t know how to make your way in to join any of these small circles. And another common situation that I see and have experienced is to find yourself in a communication circle, a conversation with someone who is clearly just waiting for the opportunity to shove their card into your hand and tell you about who they want to work with and not paying any attention to how they can support you.

What kind of business you’re in that sort of thing. And so, you know, I love connecting with people and even if I might not be your client, I’ll remember a good conversation. And that will come back to mind when I know someone who could benefit from your services. So I think that there’s so much more to networking than people initially give.

Stop too. And I think nerves paper, perhaps confidence issues kind of come in the way. So again, to your point, when you know the notes to play, when you know how to proceed, then you’ve got that confidence and it’s a little easier to be present in that exchange and authentic. 

Basile Lemba: Well, let’s take a family. You can have a family where everybody does.

The all lot had to drive and that’s in family who knows how to network to whatever level you’re going to have disparity. None of them have learned how to network all of them. I learned how to drive so they can drive you. You see the difference. It comes down to Willie having a workable networking know-how that has never existed.

I’ve sat in class where they tell you it’s about. They say, what is the bypassing your business card? This is how hard you press the flesh. I mean, it is like anybody goes to the class, you come out of the spinning.

And so therefore you haven’t have as many definition of you have people to talking to what does everyone have diminished definition of God, my God. It’s you talking about chaos and you have chaos in those networking arena, because if it was done. All the people attending networking event will be happy, great to feel about it.

And that’s not the case. You have, people have their own knowledge, they do this, but it doesn’t necessarily mean a good networking event will be in network. Good and network international. We, one way you feel great about it. Do the person feel good about it? And they are open to the case being do business.

At some point, I know they could continue to release. Not that necessarily, they’re going to buy your product. That’s not the end result. It’s like, okay. We ended up here. We understand, I know that. Okay, good. Well, let’s keep all their information. And as I run into something that may be of interest to you, as you mentioned properly, I’ll get that to you.

That will be a Cropper interaction. And this is what you want to see happening. 100% of the time, I didn’t say 99.99. I’m seeing 100%.

You see or hear somebody say I had networking? Well, you can be sure that it went to a networking event and learning to somebody who didn’t know how to network. 

Susi Vine: I think those odds are very strong, 

Basile Lemba: but it’s not that networking is bad at a sub. This last thing is how you go about.

And that’s, that’s never been sorted out the N and I’m not just saying that to say I lived there. I’ve been in this arena for 20 years. I hosted event. I host events since 20 years. So I’ve trained people about it. I that’s where I can read the definition, additional Italian. This is one, because if you do this, you’re going to fail.

Susi Vine: Ah, so not only is it wrong, it’s setting people up to run into 

Basile Lemba: oh yeah. I mean, it is like , you will never succeed. I mean, people, some people soaks you do that, do the thing, but believe me, if I walk less. Susan. If I walk to any human being on this planet who has never been to my class. Okay. And then I asked him, what are the two Cardinal rules of networking?

I know they’re not going to pass that question.

Where’s the trick. There’s no trick, but it has never been defined. It has not been sorted out. We made it into a science in the exact, besides what people get out of networking. I tell you why they’re go. They’re trying to make. But this is the statistics. You meet 10 people, only one become your customer.

When you go to the networking event, go to the jumper. Based on 10%, that statistic I found a long time ago, out of 10 people, you talk to only one become your customer. Okay. What does that mean? The science of networking becomes what do you do with the benign. 

Susi Vine: What do you do with the nine who don’t become your 

Basile Lemba: customer?

Exactly. That’s the science of networking. Okay. Now not knowing what to do tonight. The fed the attire. I spent enough time. I don’t know that it doesn’t work it’s because they don’t know that is a bad, how you handle the nine out of 10. And that’s what we teach people. The one you don’t need to handle him.

He’s going to be coming from.

The nine, I’m not going to become your customer, the sciences. How do you talk to them? How do you approach them? What is the correct mindset? How do you follow up understanding? Well that here, but to be a customer, at least not now. Well, people don’t think that we did think survey was done at the chamber of commerce at the networking event.

Okay. People ask who is yet to sell something. All the hands went up. Who’s here to buy something. Hold the hands went down.

Susi Vine: That should happen at the beginning of every networking event. Okay. Now that we’ve cleared the air. Well, 

Basile Lemba: what does that mean? Don’t send me, I’ll tell you. Don’t send me. Don’t send me. Yeah. Yeah. 

Susi Vine: No wonder people dread about this traditionally. 

Basile Lemba: Yeah, because it’s. They trying to sell you something. Now they may, they may put the demeanor, push the pier all the way to the end.

If you have been 24 hours in business, you would have heard this sentence called the liver of field. They deliver a speech where you walked up to somebody and tell them who you are. Now. Let me be before I get there, this is what I’ve found. This is what I discovered or uncovered. The way you get business has three steps, one networking to promote.

And presales. Okay. It’s a 1, 2, 3. I, I allowed to music. This is the piano. You push one, two entry. 

Susi Vine: You call it working promotion and 

Basile Lemba: sales. Yes. That is the sequence. This is how you get business. Okay. So now we cover sale where everybody was there saying sale, and then they went down. Okay, good promotion.

When we talk about delivery. What is delivered a speech. I’m telling you what I do, who I am, or my company I’m promoting myself. So they are doing on this planet. What goes for networking? He’s at WASC sells covert or over if not promotion, the never graduated to networking.

How do you track. I one of my conference, somebody was at a, have somebody scream, oh my God, we in government, we buy sales program. We buy marketing programs, but we never bought a networking program. 

Susi Vine: Can you get to the promotion step? 

Basile Lemba: Well yet is networking, promotion and sales. That is how will you get better?

Yes. If you violate that rule, you have a problem. And that’s what happened in networking. If somebody would jump up to it, they don’t want, or they do whatever. Or I was trying to say, give me the 16 digit. And that’s what I wanted. The six digit that’s that’s from dresser in the heating promotion and sales.

They never did really networking. And when they did, we’ll just brush off. We’ll tell you what they are or to send you there.

So the purpose of networking is to create acceptance is not to sell or promote. You said you create a sentence that be ready to receive your message. 

Susi Vine: You create acceptance so that they are ready 

Basile Lemba: to receive. See if you miss it, which is where you deliver your presentation. And then they may, by all means.

And then it let me have this data’s there for sale, but this is the point of you understand in networking, the person in front of you is the tree behind him. There is a forest.

You follow what you want. If you understand how the game is being played, you want him to take you to the forest because after all nine out of 10, it’s not going to be. You want to create a sentence, tell them what you do so that they can then take you into the forest, ensure you, the people who buy your service or the prospect that are there, or the people who are interested in your service.

Susi Vine: Yes. And so when we don’t make a connection with that tree, we are cutting ourselves off from all of the potential that could be open to us through that connection.

Basile Lemba: yes. 

Susi Vine: Ah, Expanding minds the potential. It’s not just about the, no that you get it’s about the conversation and the opportunities that you can be opening a door to 

Basile Lemba: after all nine out of 10. Yes. That person, if we tell him what to do, each grownup knows at least 3000 people, 

Susi Vine: 3000 people, because network. 

Basile Lemba: If they go, no, every grownup knows at least 3000 people that they know that don’t tell them that they’re relevant.

They don’t think that way, but they do.

So what are you looking at these dope? You thinking a good networker? No, there are 3000. When you having somebody, he’s not that 3000 before he wants to create acceptance. So then they can invite him to see who in the 3000 will buy a product. The person in front of you just won’t sell, but that is 3000 there’s 5, 6, 7, 8 cells sitting behind.

Susi Vine: So I would love to hear if you can share with us, I’d love to hear both, but at one of your Cardinal rules of networking, if it’s, if it’s easy to share, and like I said, I know you’ve got resources. Mm, really dialed in the science of networking. So not trying to overstate. No, I 

Basile Lemba: give them to you. There’s a simple, I mentioned them.

They simple. I tell you what they are. Number one, be interested, 

Susi Vine: be interested, profoundly 

Basile Lemba: simple. Yeah. That’s the that’s to work bottom network in any, if you ever remember anything else from what I’ve seen when you walked up to the human. Be interested now that does not mean that you have to be interested in ancient Navy seven, 7 billion people on the planet, but you have to understand that when you are going into networking event and meeting people, the fundamental rule is to be interested.

If you just be interested, you will be one of the top 1% networker that if a walk on the face of birth.

Okay. That’s number one. Number two. Well, your personal interests last.

So what happened? Modal fender? Not in the case of sale. Who’s yet to sell. They thinking about what they’re getting. Oh, when they walked up to your trailer, they thinking about telling you, you, you, you, you. No that what you do, or what you sell is it shouldn’t be west take place versus who they are, what they are doing, whatever, how you can help them, by the way, the definition of networking.

I have to communicate that to you. So you’re not lost in says, if I’m going to sell this, watch Susie, I want to give it to you and get money from you. How do I, that is sales. But if I’m networking with you, Suzy, everything I do is so you can make money or achieve.

That’s the definition of networking. I did achieve your goals because we run into nonprofit organization. They not necessarily have the money. They need blankets, they need houses and what have you, but they’re coming to the game of networking. That’s how you handle it. What is that? Susie is interested in it.

Shouldn’t looking for customer. You should looking for blanket. What is she looking for? That’s what I want to know. And I do everything I can to help her. That is. You remember? I said, networking, promotion and sales. After the fact I can tell her what I do. And then the task that is being chicken, by what I said.

But at the beginning, it’s not about me. What I get, what is it about what I can do for Susie? How can I help her? And that is the best way really to create acceptance. You can never fail. If you try to help somebody in whatever they say, they’re interested in, you. And that is the goal of networking 

Susi Vine: by putting your own needs, whatever, whatever you want to call it by putting your side or last 

Basile Lemba: objectives, right.

To live a loss.

I want you to buy initial and I want you to buy at the end of the day, then that’s again, the war.

What if somebody come to say, Hey, what do you do? Oh, what kind of customer looking for? Oh yeah. Maybe this friend of mine needed to have you here. This is a vent over here. A lot of people you’re looking for, want to be there. Okay. That’s a different experience for that guy at that networking event. 

Susi Vine: Yes.

Profoundly different. 

Basile Lemba: Next thing you know, you say networking. The calming, but when they get hammered, they are no room for the 50 people. 49 hammer. You say networking, they look somewhere else. 

Susi Vine: I think it’s someone else’s turn, 

Basile Lemba: they didn’t call me. 

Susi Vine: I gave it the office,

you know, that’s so true. I know from my experience. And I do have connections that have outlasted, the work that I was doing at that point in time. And those were the people who led with sincere interest in who I was beyond the company that I was representing in the work that I was doing in the clients, you know, that I could support if they contracted with my business, but they engaged with me what I was looking for.

They ask questions. They were very interested. And they didn’t lead with what they were looking for. They asked what I was looking for. That’s powerful shift and it can be hard to not get impatient and worry. We’re going to lose the opportunity, but people remember the way we make them feel. Right. When we’re in sales.

We learned that too. And that lands that brings that person back to mind. When you hear someone who’s looking for something that they. Because they gave first. 

Basile Lemba: Absolutely. But this is the thing. It is a natural law. Some people do not know it natural. So this a hit and miss, as I said, they play guitar.

Sometimes they pay the white note have knowing that the paint with white note, we teach them exactly precisely. So now they play with certainty 100% of the time.

You see now what you was speaking here? I thought I had something came to my mind. We talk about a, get rich, quick scheme. We’re networking, the get rich slow, but you get there.

The get rich quick. We know always fall apart. The debt we slow. You build that relationship with you’re talking about. They show interest in new, whatever that things carry on for years.

Susi Vine: With the foundation that actually lasts.

Basile Lemba: And 

Susi Vine: so you support your community with breakfasts, with online events, with programs and the book that people have been asking you for. So, so long is coming together

and, and in this age where we are. So hard to have in-person events. You’ve been able to bring these online and help engage people in that respect. 

Basile Lemba: Absolutely for 18 years now we hold the event. And in fact, I’ll send you an invitation. I have to remember that we have the 18 anniversary celebration of February 17th.

I’d love for you to join us this. We have been doing that with the pandemic. Of course we couldn’t have made it. So we shipped online, but we kept all the different elements so far as possible of what we’re doing. So we bring people to get a once a month for the network and breakfast. And I put together an online course that we offer, we offer coaching and also a mastermind that last four years back, we have a three day event coming up on March the fourth to the sixth.

We can find information on that on BL that networking.net you know, you drive COVID. You want to get business? We teaching you how to somebody. I was talking to somebody a week ago to tell him you don’t want all the coaches are there. Try to get you from one to five, but nobody ever get you from zero to.

We teach you how to get from zero to one. 

Susi Vine: I can say with experience that is true. And suddenly you’re at five and you turn around and say, oh no, I can’t answer that question. I can’t answer that question. I’m not ready for this because we don’t know there’s information to be found everywhere. It’s very easy to look for it online, but to get the right information to come.

Of the starting blocks with the right priorities front of mind, very, very simple concepts, but I’m sure that in our audience, very few people have thought about it. This way, that networking can be as simple as number one, be interested. And number two, put yourself last, be interested in what they have to share and what they’re looking for.

Basile Lemba: Yes. And that can never fail people. there is a sequence of things in life. You can have a tree today that just being out there. No, no, no. You got to put the seed, you got water and then you water your water and your wonderful, beautiful trees. And they’ll give you fruit. There is a natural sequence.

Things happen in life that none of us can change really. Right, 

Susi Vine: right. 

Basile Lemba: Yes. What if you follow that you achieve success when you do.

You know, I’m talking about creating acceptance. If you don’t create acceptance, that relationship is not going to move forward.

What do you do? You want it to move forward and you take the time to create acceptance. I’m not necessarily saying, going to take in a lot of years, but just understand that I’m networking. Now. It’s time for me to promote myself and I stand for me to show what. Or even there was not enough interest in that.

That’s not a problem. And then you asked him, sir, is there anybody? You know, you know what I do is there anybody could introduce me to,

but you can jump up to tumble and say, go introduce me to everybody. You know, people will do that. Oh, by the go, by what I said, people will do that. They violating the sequence, which is networking promotion and say, 

Susi Vine: yes, can’t jump to step three. 

Basile Lemba: But Lord knows how we almost happen all the time and he doesn’t even have to be steady mental.

You can tell when the guy looking at you wanting to buy his stock or everything that is doing is really just to do both all. Is Willie you signing on the dotted line, evaluate, showing interest. You’re not interested in him. You’re interested in his money. I guess what they pick that up.

Susi Vine: It does not instill faith and confidence, right? Yeah. 

Basile Lemba: And you can’t hide it. You can say that’s what it says. People do not know. Try to try to hide it as if they will not. Well, guess what they say, you actions speak louder than you words.

The IRS says only 6% of the business in United States make a six-figure bear is your answer. 

Susi Vine: Yes, that’s a happy 

Basile Lemba: statistic. They never knew how to create a sentence, talk to the person and move them through the foreigner, which is promotional sense. If they did, they would make a six-figure easily. But if you mess it up at the beginning, they don’t want to walk with you don’t want to move forward.

Right.

And we talk about stress once you network. Well, if you do your thing properly, stress goes down. Production goes up and you are happier. You wellbeing increased. So.

Remember when I first, when I first wrote my first, first draft of my book, because this day and age, everybody has a theory. You go in and on Google, I’m 40, I’m against it. He’s white. I’m going. Yeah. Well, she didn’t speak correctly. After I wrote the first draft of my book, I brought them in, I brought business people in, but those, I knew it was for me, but the proof is in the pudding.

I can say all I want, but what do they say? What did it. So I brought them in and then I offered a seminar to let him them hug, show them how they can get business. And at the end, I asked them for the feedback and the testimonials, it was wedding. This is life changing. This is saving my life. This is . Wait a minute, wait a minute.

I’m not trying to change your life. I’m trying to teach you how to get business.

Then I realized do materials or putting in. They were seeing how this could change a life of 180 degree, 

Susi Vine: because it’s all about relationships. Relationships begin with that authentic interest, 

Basile Lemba: the beat in Yuron family, being a social in a community, those materials showing interest, we meet with your neighbor or whatever, or you kiddo, Sonia husband, and show interest.

You can see how that relationship is going to change immediately. 

Susi Vine: People everywhere are going to be flooding your inbox with thank you, cards spicy. This is some, this is some brilliant wisdom right here. We try to overcomplicate things. We try to leap ahead. Think about the gifts that they want. Think about this by simply being present and being interested and responding to helps people fill their needs.

Basile Lemba: I feel it breath. He’s problematically changed relationship each and every one of her beat family on social or business, it changed it, all the relationship each and every.

And 

Susi Vine: since this episode is coming out in February, I think this is like a Valentine to all relationships, professional 

Basile Lemba: opinions. Oh yes. Oh yes. It, you know, I say, no, you’re not getting your way serious. Shout. Get them all the gifts you want, but try to give them you in divided attention and listening to them, you will see the reaction.

And I’m not just for that. It will change the relationship all and completely imagine Susie, if you did it with somebody who ignore it, you walk into food, they don’t even look or you walk. They look somewhere else. Okay. So that’s the relationship with that person. And then let’s, let’s let’s, let’s put differently.

Now you have to say, Hey, she see you here. Very good. Is there, can I help you with your coat? What kind of these? These are two different relationships. Isn’t it? 

Susi Vine: Very 

Basile Lemba: different being night. Well, all you did in one case is you show interest,

which is 

Susi Vine: free by the way, for anybody worried about their bottom line. You’re not investing in fancy ads. You’re not investing in big campaigns. You’re restoring that human connection. To your point, really? That’s the definition of networking is, is those connect? 

Basile Lemba: Absolutely. And I always say before I give the two Cardinal rules or after I’ve given them what I just shared with you, ladies and gentlemen, one, be interested to put your personal interests.

Last those two data are more powerful than an atomic bomb.

Let me give that to you again. Putting your personal interest last, a more powerful than an atomic bomb. That to me, bumps, nothing just distraught with this. You’re built for.

If you apply only those two data in your life starting this very second, you will have it. Totally incomplete. Do you completely different life? Let me give that to you again. If you just apply this, start applying these two materials, why not to whoever in person you run into, you will have a completely and totally different life starting this very second.

Revolutionary of all revolution our goal to enhance the quality of lives amongst people. That’s one of our top goals amongst the people of earth. Now the entire planet,

it’s not dead. We know that we bringing.

Susi Vine: And when we start thinking of the numbers, as you said, an adult knows 3000 people, the ripple effect, the impact that we can generate when we lead by this example, I believe you. I agree. It has the potential to heal the world. 

Basile Lemba: I mean, if human being well, just doing respect one, I know that we’ll have a completely different.

There are stand that I’m trying to bomb you, but I’m not respecting you. I’m not interested in. And I want it to disappear from the planet. That’s totally different from interesting,

Susi Vine: very different animal, more on the scale of the atomic bomb. 

Basile Lemba: I’m trying to get you out of here. That mean I don’t, I’m not interested naturally to do the, have to be not interested.

Susi Vine: And hopefully we can turn that into a joke. We can all laugh about and meetings and say, remember when we made this all about the wrong things, remember those people who thought this was all about jumping to step three and selling their product and a room full of people who didn’t come to buy 

Basile Lemba: be. I mean, it would be such a, no, you said it because I’ve been doing this.

As I mentioned for 18 years, I can count the number of. The number of times I was handled properly.

That’s the way I do the work I do. I can turn really in one hand a lot. And I’m being generous. The number of times where I was handled properly.

And in our course, by the way, it’s just those who are interested, which is five states. One do correct. To defining your client, your ideal client, three, how to talk to those people for how to follow up and five, how to close everything you need to know to get business from a to Z in a very rock, bottom fashion in not advertisement, not all that open human being.

As I said, truly somebody, I didn’t even think about it. So you get them from zero to one. After that, you can buy all the promotional program. You want all the marketing, but you have a foundation which you can always fall back on, even if whatever promotion campaign works or does not, you know how to talk to your fellow man, and you can grow your business by doing just what we discuss here today.

Susi Vine: Yes. And those five aspects, like you say, You can study with other coaches, you can fall into other programs and leap ahead and wonder why you don’t have a strong foundation under your business. Or you can start with those five fundamental concepts. So, so important following up is where so many people fail to give any attention at all.

Basile Lemba: Absolutely. Otherwise you are in business, but you don’t have certainty. You’re not a foundation. You’re doing this promotion program doing. It really is like a hasbara foundation. He can fall any day.

These are the fondant. You can say. He makes sense. Not that I make them up. You create acceptance. You introduce yourself, you present your product if they don’t want it, because it create acceptance. They introduce it to the people. If you just do that over and over and over and over again, you will solve your business.

Will do it inevitably.

Susi Vine: And along the way you can help to transform our personal relationships as well as professional. 

Basile Lemba: At that point, when I teach my class, I never get rejection. Even for the business. Personal rejection is a killer, particularly new business, but I never get rejection because I do what I just told you. I show you.

They may or may not biased. That’s fine, but we have a good relationship. I didn’t ever experience rejection. And so can you, you, you should, you shouldn’t have to re re it’s been an addiction because if you’re coming with the true intent of helping somebody, they can not reject you. They may or may not buy your product, but that doesn’t mean that you’re rejecting you.

So what that means that you take full con, now you are in control of your relations. Not about controlling, manipulating people by showing interest, building a good relationship, then whatever. There’s nothing. The only list list of by again a year from now, maybe there is something, oh, maybe, oh, I can buy you put up what I would love for you to come and speak at my, then that’s just inviting me, graciously he over here, you know, he doesn’t mean that she got to buy what I sell that.

Well, I got to buy white shirt, but she can say, come with this, can help get the water. You know, it is something is something is happening out of that.

So once you’ve done your job, well, you leave the door open to explore in new opportunities that may be there, but you cannot experience rejection. But when you go, you think about just selling you product or or attendant while you are didn’t S even if you don’t do it in your face mentally, they go like this.

Susi Vine: I want everyone to remember. At your next networking event, if you forget steps one and two, and you try to close a sale, but seal says, that’s what they’ve just done in their, behind their eyes, 

Basile Lemba: smiling in 

Susi Vine: their mental catalog. 

Basile Lemba: And by the way, that’s the reason what up is a challenge. You try to call to them, call them again.

They don’t call you because they already made up their mind. You don’t just know that they don’t tell you. They don’t have. But that’s what I say. You have control. If you go about it the right way they are open. But if you don’t big X, they don’t return your phone call. They don’t answer your email and maybe on, on the street, maybe they can even avoid you.

This you’re coming this way across the street.

We 

Susi Vine: won’t be only zoom, foom to zoom room for long. We’ve got to get back 

Basile Lemba: to zoom room. They check out, they go into another one.

Don’t want to be that guy.

And I keep putting a bag over their head. I’m not here.

Susi Vine: I love it. And so we’ve definitely, I love how we’ve been able to bridge the professional, but also the personal benefits. The things that we can learn from perfecting the art of networking. Yes. Do you have some advice? Perhaps we’ve already covered a little bit of it today, but since I love to talk about stress and, and networking is stressful, even though we have now the foundation, the tool rules, the Cardinal rules for success.

How can one reduce stress in some of these situations? 

Basile Lemba: Eh, that’s a very good question. Again, if you don’t remember anything as, when you walk into a networking event, you can tell it yourself. I’m here to help them when you’re talking to somebody, just think of what can listen to, how can I help it takes the pressure off of you.

You know, I have a picture when I define the mindset of networking on one side, I have a guy in a restaurant eating. Okay. And you’re assigned have a waitress with a napkin, the white napkin on this. I have the guy eating will not get around his neck. You don’t want to be the one it’s okay. But the correct mindset, not the person, not in the neck, the one who had the neck from here from the hips down, he’s there to serve.

If you might say we discuss a lot of things, review the tape, watch it over and over. I’m sure he gets something out of it. But if nothing else, when you walk into a networking room, regardless of your profession, you mindset could be, or I suggest you decide what you want. That’s your prerogative, your why your mindset will be, how can I help Susie?

What do you, do you think about how you can have you talk to Joe? How can you have Joe, if you did. You laugh, we’ll be so smooth out. You won’t have the stress of it. And then I can guarantee you, most of those people will be willing to come back to you and say, tell me what you do. Tell me what to do. You happened actually.

And that’s what discovered one of the best principle. If I’m going to talk about that for a minute year, Susie, I went to a networking event. It was 2008. That’s when the market crashed. Totally and completely. You remember that? So I walk into a networking event. There’s a financial planner there. Yeah. It was interested because you know, you hear about finance.

I want to talk to somebody when they find out what the heck’s going on and that, what do you do? oh, what do you do with people? Is it, I helped them lose less.

We have a great conversation. Mind you. And because I told you I was good, he was just there to learn. I’ll ask you the question of question after question after question. And then at one point I asked him, and then at one point, ask him a question. He never answered that. And then look at me say you, what do you do?

I didn’t understand. I mean, it took me a while to understand what happened. Then I’m asking, I’m thinking in my head, I’m asking you asking me how those are. What I’m asking you a question. Yes, no question. How does that work? And then later I understood what happened, but suffice to say, just to say it, after I told him he asked what I do, and I told him after that, in fact, in my book, I called that guy, the referral machine.

He introduced me to 20 business. Oh, or both what I was selling. I was just taking water. I’ll walk into the office of . I was not selling anything. And then I understood what happened. So monthly I’m a little slower understanding what little you don’t understood

when you show interest. At one point I noticed sooner. The fleet, they are interested. What’d you do you understand? But this is the interesting part. When they flip, they are sincerely interested in what you offer on what you’re all about.

You follow, they pick it in and make it dead business. Do something with it.

Yeah. I call him the referral machine. I got 20 business. Now I know Susie has, I walked up to that, that guy that day and say, oh, this is what I do. What I do. I will never have gotten the 20 sellers that I got. So, but when I walked in there, I was not thinking about myself. What I do. I was interested in him.

All my attention went in. I asked him a question I was having fun. And what have you that to result in 26?

It’s almost like counterintuitive to what we do all the time. We 

Susi Vine: do tend to do things the hard way, but this is really the trifecta in being earnestly, honestly interested because. They feel seen and appreciated. You’re lowering your stress as we just said, because you’re putting the attention on someone else.

You’re not all focused on. Are you going to say it right? Are you going to close a sale? That’s all in the back seat. You’re focused on them. You’re interested. And just, as you said, you can’t get a no. If you’re learning about them, you’re not giving them the opportunity to shut you down. So suddenly the stress has gone in that regard to 

Basile Lemba: absolutely 

Susi Vine: powerful.

Well, lemme, 

Basile Lemba: lemme tell you. No, no, no, no. It’s okay. In my class when I teach the class, because we all know what I’m telling of it is not current. And even when he is a size and I say, go and talk to two people and talk to three people and there’s three people and don’t talk to them by yourself. What you do, just talk to them, show interest.

Do you know that two of them, two of them came back and told him, oh, he bought what I was selling. It was forbidden to talk about what would they. The people, they talk to both what they was, which is unheard of, you might say, but yeah, that’s how it, the game is played. That’s what walks.

So no stress is take attention of you. Every human being is interesting. All of it up to us, just recognize that own find. I look for the thing that interested about the person and the smoother, the relationship.

No stress is easy. You just leaving there is happening. No confrontation, no conflict procedures. Get into the person’s shoes and understand, just show interest, show interest in listening to what they have to say.

When you take our attention of yourselves and then things start happening. But once you talk about I sell insurance or they need to buy my insurance and what have you, don’t you, they pick it up. They may not pick her up that day, but just something, something, something they avoid you in later on. They don’t want to bring you in, in anything because you only think about it.

But if you were sincerely interested in them like that guy, my goodness, he sold my product to the people I did not. He did the selling for me.

But that’s not what we have been taught so far. And that’s what I said, the subject was not sorted out. So if it’s an attempt people, I put my butter. Wasn’t, that’s not what I was told. Well, that’s not what I was doing. I was told I have to be in.

Susi Vine: The most powerful shift you can make, stop trying to be interesting and simply be interested. 

Basile Lemba: Yes.

Susi Vine: And I want to make sure our listeners know that the. Basile’s book is coming out very soon. It has, it’s been a labor of love and he’s got it shined up to perfection. And now what a little will be the title 

Basile Lemba: of your book. We’ve been networking Mays made as easy as. 

Susi Vine: Networking made as easy as driving. Now we can tie in all of these driving references that we’ve had throughout the program, because it’s so true.

We tend to build it up into something that is overwhelming, intimidating, uncomfortable, no wonder we get stressed at the idea of going to networking events. I have to say, I’ve been putting off a few myself a seal. You have inspired me to reengage with my community. So I thank you. And you have a gift that our listeners can pick up if they’d like to stay connected with you.

Yes, 

Basile Lemba: absolutely. Did I send it to you or I should put it, yes. The free session fees session. 

Susi Vine: Wow. So kind, we’ll have a link to that in the show 

Basile Lemba: notes. It can get a physician, get you just come and talk, let me know what you’re looking for and what have you. And then I help you as much as I can. But I say this don’t get confused or worked up, or have any consideration about networking.

Most of you drive a car, driving a car is way more complex, way more dangerous than networking. Okay. So if we can grab a car, you can master network

I’ve shown higher ability or reading,

Susi Vine: and you’re here to help us take the danger out of it. I love it. I feel better already.

Thank you so very much. I’m so grateful to you for joining us today. And I hope that we’ve really been able to transform people’s perspectives on something that I know is a very stressful aspect of business, and really reframe it into an opportunity to make connections that will grow for years to come.

Absolutely super powerful perspective.

thank you so very much. I appreciate your time and your wisdom. I thank 

you, 

Basile Lemba: Suzy. 20 volume take good care. Okay. Back to the letter.