What if by recognizing your own character strengths you could make work easier and more satisfying?  Many people strive to reach their goals and focus on personal development, trying to “be better” by improving areas where they feel they fall short. 

A different and perhaps faster path to success encourages us to recognize our inherent strengths.  As we feel more confident and capable, we can spend more time working in flow and get more enjoyment from the work we do! Nurturing character strengths even helps you feel more authentic in relationships, giving and receiving support more easily. 

In this episode we talk about:

• Spending our time & energy on fixing what’s “broken” 
• Appreciating where we shine, recognizing worthiness, cultivating confidence 
• Use at work, at home, in relationship
• Seeing & celebrating strengths in others 
• Strengths foster resilience 
• Stronger boundaries for happier relationships

Discover your own Character Strengths by taking the VIA survey: http://thrivinglife.pro.viasurvey.org  

Susi – Character Strengths

Welcome back. I am so happy to have you with me this week on the show. I’m really excited to dig into a topic that perhaps you haven’t thought of before. What I notice in this realm of personal growth, of personal development, of pursuing our own goals and striving for success – which I see a lot in my work in helping people recognize the stress that is showing up in our lives.

What we can do about that, how we can feel more empowered in the way that we address that stress. One thing that I see people often overlook is our innate strengths. The places where we naturally shine because in this journey of personal development a lot of us spend most of our time trying to fix what we think is broken.

If I procrastinate less, I will get more done. If I spend less time organizing and more time doing this, that’s what’s holding me back in my journey to success. If I can wake up at 5:00 AM to exercise before work, if I can be more like somebody who seems to have a better handle on all of this. And so what I think is a very valuable new perspective that I invite you to consider is, instead of all of our attention, all of our energy – when we have that energy left over to “fix” (big air quotes on that, fix) what we perceive as broken in ourselves. We’re putting energy in the wrong place. 

And let me show you why I believe this is true. 

So in the field of positive psychology, one aspect that has a good amount of attention, and also some study is this concept of Character Strengths, places in which we naturally shine. And the VIA Character Institute has identified 24 inherent strengths of character. And they did this by looking at cultures, even religions, looking at things, areas in which we esteem others. And they identified these 24 strengths of character that people tend to inherently have to differing degrees.

And so you can actually take a survey that they have developed, and I’m going to include a link here in the show notes. As a practitioner, I have an account so that you can find this survey, but you can also find it by Googling or searching online: VIA character strengths survey. And you can take it and see for yourself what areas you’re naturally strong in.

And one of the important points that they make up front is not to say – you’ll get a report that identifies your top five character strengths or lists them in order – not to say that you are deficient in the others, not to say that you rank low in strengths, 19 – 24. But what they’re indicating here is that there are areas in which you naturally have more energy, more grace, more strength in some aspects of character and some are just naturally less developed. So it’s not at all to be read as a shortcoming. 

And I’ll share some of my own feedback from my own reports so you can kind of get an idea of what this is before you go ahead and take the survey. And I would love for you to do that because I think, and this is a point that I really invite you to sit with and consider: where in your life this could start to move the needle?

Not only in terms of the way that stress is impacting you, but also the way in which you take care of yourself, you put yourself first, you believe that good things are deserved, that you have warranted them, that you are already enough. And I invite you to make this leap with me. 

That just as you are, wherever you are on the journey, whether you’re just starting out, whether you’ve been spending years studying, developing your strengths or trying to recover your flaws, but in what aspects you are already worthy. You are already enough wherever you are on this journey. We are all perfectly imperfect. And as long as we have an eye to what we want to be more of, what we want to move ourselves towards. You know, as long as we’re not settling for the status quo. As long as we are not sitting back in resignation saying, this is the best that I can do. This is all that I’m gonna ever get out of life, and sitting into that frustration. 

If you are looking for opportunities, if you are seeking solutions, then I invite you to consider that you are already worthy of those solutions, already worthy of the rewards that life has in store for you. Sometimes we just need to open our eyes and recognize we are to step into those. 

And so I think of it a beautiful way to start to be more present to how we are already worthy, by taking a look at our inherent strengths. So let me go ahead and list these for you. If you’re listening to the show on the move, let your ears just kind of take on whatever stands out for you.

I would love to just kind of bookmark two or perhaps five, if you can hold on to all that many as you’re going on about your day. And as I said, later on, you can take this survey for yourself and find out your own inherent character strengths. And so the 24 that are included by the VIA group are creativity, curiosity, judgment, love of learning, perspective, bravery, perseverance, honesty, zest, love, kindness, social intelligence, teamwork, fairness, leadership, forgiveness, humility, prudence, self-regulation, gratitude, appreciation of beauty and excellence, humor, and spirituality. 

So that’s quite a list and it covers quite a range. And I would love to know – I always love to hear back from you, my viewers, my listeners – what stands out for you. And if, as you take the survey, you find other things that are highlighted that perhaps you notice, or take in on your first pass. 

As I said, sometimes we spend so much time focusing on what we wish we had more of, on the strengths that we wish came more naturally to us, that we can easily overlook the places where we already naturally shine.

For some of us zest, passion for life might be something that comes easily. And for some, prudence, that kind of more calm, quiet assessment, being cautious, making wise choices, if you will. Some of those characters might fall into that strength of prudence. 

I will confess that prudence is not one of my inherent and best developed strengths. So as I’ve looked over my list, I can see the areas in which my strengths are already developed and the areas in which I can run into some issues, some roadblocks, if you will. And by recognizing those, when I’m in a situation where I might benefit from having more prudence, where I’m going into a situation where I really need to assess the total picture and make a very guarded and guided decision, I need to kind of build in some aspects of that. 

I need to look for ways to slow myself down. I need to give myself some benchmarks. What all do I need to consider when I’m making this choice and not just go wildly into leading with my ‘love of learning’, which is one of my top five character strengths.

So, let me share with you from my own report. I’ll do a little bit of self reveal here. And again, hopefully this will pique your curiosity. I’d love to hear what your top five character strengths are. 

Number one is humor, which is interesting. I wouldn’t have given myself number one that, but I am grateful to see that one on the list.

Love of learning. As I already mentioned, fairness, which I do believe is true. I do spend a lot of time wishing that everyone had equal access and that the world was more fair. See previous conversations where I’ve talked about things that are within our control and outside of our control, but personally in aspects where I’m able to move the needle towards fairness, that is something that I’m passionate about doing.

Spirituality. Which is not to say, faith or religion, but someone who feels aligned to a greater wisdom, who feels, I believe this is a really integral part in my own personal definition of spirituality, that there is a unifying spirit and energy that is within all of us. And I think that’s a very important aspect of how we move through our lives and operate in this world.

And gratitude, number five on my list. And it does list all 24 in descending order, but gratitude is definitely on the list. And I would say that feels true to course as well. My husband and I, we like to have little gratitude parties every now and then, feeling blessed in our lives, in the little pleasures, like sitting outside and watching a beautiful sunset, like enjoying an incredible meal that he has prepared because my husband loves to cook and experiment in the kitchen.

And I am always grateful for his curiosity and his zest for life, I would put those two on the top of his list. 

And so I’d love to know, as I read through that list, what stood out for you and how easy is it to focus on the things where you feel like you naturally shine? 

And do you have that tendency to go towards those areas in which you feel like you need to fix?

There’s always time for fixing things, for polishing up aspects of ourselves that we wish we could do better in. But I do believe that we are inherently worthy as we are. 

And this is really valuable to look at too, in the workplace. If you feel like you’re struggling at work, if you’re out of your element. If you feel like some other people at work or on your team might be passing you by, they have other strengths that come more naturally to them that might not translate into this more and more-so digital world in remote workplaces. If you’re a very personable and kind person, if you love to be together with people, it can be hard to translate that into a more remote workplace.

So how can you bring your own strengths to the table? 

The VIA Institute also has a wonderful program that they have developed and recommended. And this is something that I love to share also in programs, their four step program into incorporating and really utilizing your inherent strengths and finding them in other.

And so the four steps of their program are first, recognizing and appreciating strengths in others. Sometimes it’s a little bit easier to take that perspective, to see where you admire and appreciate things that other people do. Sometimes that inner critic or inner judgmental voice keeps us from naturally doing that for ourselves.

Next, looking at how we can explore and use our own signature strengths working from the results of that assessment. What are your top five strengths and how do you get to use those in the workplace or outside of work in your free time? 

Following your passion as you play, do you get to engage curiosity and love of learning? How does that get to show up in your life and how much do you enjoy those activities, where you get to incorporate these strengths? And as you think about that, what kind of opportunities can you create, where you can do more of that. So beyond exploring and using your own signature strengths, you can start to apply those strengths to life’s challenges.

So this, as you’ve developed your vision, your awareness for your own strengths, as you’re seeing strengths demonstrated in other people, then as life serves up challenges or as stress finds you, because we all know that it will in some fashion or another, how can you apply your natural strengths to situations to help you sail through them more easily?

And then finally, with all of this insight, building these muscles, recognizing our natural strengths, how can you make these a habit? How can you put more attention, more energy into incorporating these ways in which you naturally shine? 

One of the things that I notice as I’m working with people who struggle with stress, who tend to feel overwhelmed or exhausted, who might feel resentment in relationships, because in cases they have people in relationship who are crossing boundaries, perhaps their children, their partner, work colleagues, friends, and we treasure that special time to be together with friends. But we all might have a friend who knowingly or not crosses boundaries, who asks a little more of us than we’re comfortable giving.

And where do you see the translation here? I think that many times people struggle with their personal confidence, with their feeling of worthiness, feeling like they need to put other people’s happiness first. I see this most particularly in parents, but also in many, many other people that I work with feeling like if they help others feel better, if they help others do an excellent job, then others will be grateful. Others will recognize that support others will shine back on them. The value that they’ve received, unfortunately, this isn’t a fail safe method of having your worthiness reflected back. 

The most effective way to develop your worthiness is to do exactly what we’re talking about. To look at your own inherent strengths and recognize this is what you bring to the table, and then choose when you want to make it available. And not always feel like you have to lead by giving, but standing in your own worthiness, your own confidence. Having this available to share with others is profoundly beneficial. 

So consider how your top strengths can help you to underline or put bullet points on the areas in which you deserve a little more recognition, and how can you recognize yourself your own shining spots, your own inherent strength. 

I’d love to hear from you. I’d love this to be the beginning of a conversation. I’m excited to dive more deeply into strengths. This is a topic that we’ll come back to on the show, but this is the first time that I’m sharing this idea.

So I want to seed these topics. I want to put this out there and see how it lands for you. How do you start playing around in this sandbox of personal strengths? See what sticks, see what you kind of shake off. 

See how many ways in which you find yourself focusing on what you didn’t do well and where you can turn that spotlight, where you can turn your attention to the ways in which you did excellent, the areas in which you naturally shine and how you can do more of that, how you can invite more of those opportunities and continue to show up in that manner in the way that only you can.

In this world, as we begin to feel more confident, as we really reaffirm this worthiness, as we recognize that we have the right to have boundaries to protect ourselves, then we have so much more to give to others. 

So one other area in which I see people struggle is when I offer that putting yourself first isn’t selfish. It helps you be more and have more to give to the people that you love. 

Consider this. Consider how focusing on your own strengths lets you have so much more to bring to the conversation, to bring to the people that you love, to bring to the work that lights you up. 

I can’t wait to continue this conversation. Thank you for joining me. Be sure to let me know your thoughts. If you haven’t already, post a review and rating on Apple and share a comment on YouTube if you’re catching the video, and let’s start the conversation about where you naturally shine and how you invite the world, the life that you’re living to bring more of the same.

Thank you for shining your light in the world. I’m so grateful to have you with me. Have a wonderful day.