As an educator and single mother, Julie Little sought practices to restore harmony in her busy life, and now shares the tools and teachings that inspired her with other busy women.  With mindfulness and self care, they can enjoy wellness and longevity.

In this episode we discuss:

• Ways to honor yourself
• Reconnecting with what lights you up
• Surprising places to find mindfulness
• Creating a self care “menu”

In her book, Light on the Pond Scum: A Memoir, she reflects on her childhood experience of change and early role of responsibility, and her movement through life with the support of her spiritual practice.

Connect with Julie online via Linked in, or stay tuned in via Youtube. More information about programs and events is available at https://jewelsofwellbeing.com/

Susi: Welcome back for another episode of Happified, as you can see, I am in the poditorium of Podapalooza and I am thrilled to get to introduce you to the lovely Julie Little. Julie follows the spiritual teachings of Buddhist Thich Nhat Hanh and shares her mindfulness and meditation practice with others, and has recently released, or we’ll hear a little bit more about, her book Light on the Pond Scum, a Memoir. 

 So thank you, Julie. I appreciate you jumping on air with me.

Julie: You are very welcome, Susi. It’s great to meet you. And it’s fun for me to be here. And I love talking about this. I’m new to being a certified life coach with Mindvalley. It actually just was like, Friday, you know, that I finished that months long program. So I am a certified life coach. I kind of started out as a health coach. And so, as sort of a shift for me, I actually call myself a Wellbeing Coach for women. And I kind of came up with that when I realized how much it’s everything about our lives, not just, you know, a particular health issue.

So I guess the start for me, well, it depends on how far I want to go back, but Light on the Pond Scum as a memoir goes back to the time I was four and just a very chaotic, sort of bizarre life, of lots of change. The rug being pulled out from under me and figuring out early that my best value was to be a caretaker of others, 

Susi: Which is a hard thing for children to take on. It’s a really interesting thing to look back on and start to untangle that, how that shapes everything that follows. When it, from a very young age, it feels like our role is to take care of sometimes the people who are supposed to be taking care of us, in order to build that security that we so desperately need to grow up with.

Julie: That’s right. That’s right. And so I talk about that and identity and loss and just, lots of change and stuff like that in there, and how I grew up that way and became a life coach and how it all turned into this spiritual practice, which really helps others just talk about mindfulness and meditation and things like that.

But there’s sort of this, the pivotal moment when I was a single mom and I had just adopted my daughter from China. On my own. And so I was a full-time public school teacher and I stood at the front door in the mornings a few times, and I said, this life doesn’t work. 

Susi: And I bet that resonates with a lot of women who are trying to juggle all of the things that land on their shoulders.

I think women in particular, typically in the role of care giver, care provider, you know, we just see a need that needs to be filled and we look for a way to solve it without giving ourselves any time or space to recognize what we might be depleting from ourselves by continuing to show up and serve in support.

So, yeah, those are tough moments of awareness to have when you’re not sure how to change. 

Julie: Absolutely. And it’s sort of like having the cup full of water and you just pour out water all the time. You never pour any in, so you’re getting your – Your cup of water is getting emptier and emptier.

And you’re not doing anything about it because there’s just no time, and there’s no focus on that. And sometimes people just need permission. And I guess in a sense, that’s kind of what a life coach will do, is give them permission to take these little turtle steps towards, you know, like, who am I again? And who, what do I want and what were my dreams and why did that never happen? 

And, you know, sometimes people get this sense of overwhelming confusion and loss, and they suddenly realize that they’ve never even tried to be happy or find joy. That’s been like, that’s somebody else’s thing. I remember being a young teacher and thinking, I don’t know what that word joy means.

I’d never experienced it. And I was in my twenties and I was thinking maybe I better find out. So it it’s a lovely thing to do to, turn those chaotic years, decades into something that really supports other women as we grow into, you know, women taking over the world and being in powerful positions, that’s what that’s going to require.

I have a 21 year old daughter now, so she’s grown up and she’s in college still. And it’s really wonderful when you get to see what that’s done. You know, that those turtle steps to be my more true self, have really been a model for her. 

Susi: Yes.  Thank you for that. I think that’s so important and that’s something that I love to consider and kind of shine a light on, that the work that we do is helping our next generation have the vocabulary to know how to ask for what they need, the recognition that they’re worthy of putting themselves first, like all of these things that we’ve really had to kind of un-program for ourselves because generationally survival has required, you know, and we’ve gotten this training, this imprinting from our parents and our grandparents and these generations that have had to struggle to survive.

And now, while there is not, you know, complete lack of struggle by any chance, survival is still sometimes really hard to maintain, but we’re recognizing we can do it differently. As you said before, you know, with your focus on wellbeing, it really is the total picture. It’s not simply we’re fed and we’re clean and that’s all we need to say for ourselves.

We need to be rested. We need to feel that joy sometimes, you know, the rest of that that comes into the picture is so important. And so I love that that focus that you bring, I kind of created my own title as well. I’m a certified Ways to honor ourselvesStress Management Coach, but I prefer Resolution or Transformation, rather than simply management, right. So I think there’s a lot of power in the words that we choose and especially what we can then share with other people when we come from that space. 

Julie: Yes, because part of it is creating something. So it’s not just surviving and thriving in a different way. You know, it’s hard enough to survive and then there’s this, you know, helping ourselves to come up with something where we can help others. You know, that’s the sort of another step, but to sit back and create a life intentionally, that would be even close to a life that you would’ve chosen, is brand new, it’s a brand new endeavor. 

Susi: Yes. Yes. Well, and I think, and so I’d love to hear what you think about this too – So many people have not taken that opportunity, made the opportunity, I should say, because we really have to carve it out, to get clear on what we want that picture to be, what it is we want to create.

Because many times we grow up with a picture kind of painted in front of us, right? What our parents hope for, what our teachers tell us we excel at, and that’s what we should spend more time or energy in. And so how do you with your clients help them learn how to do that? 

Julie: That’s a great question. So I have a program called It’s My Turn. And so it’s sort of like, “it’s my turn to go from depleted to delighted,” right. 

And so it’s a great five step process that I do usually with a one-on-one client over 12 weeks, but starting soon, I’m going to offer a five week group program. And so when you do it in the group, you do it the same way, but with the little videos and then Q & A with me, and it’s like leaning into what lights you up, but it’s also honoring yourself.

And what I first start with with all the women is, how are we not honoring ourselves? You know, you could say, well, I kind of, I drink water and I go to the gym once a week and stuff like that. 

So how are we not honoring ourselves? If we saw it that way, maybe we could come up with, you know, well, actually I don’t give myself enough time and I go to bed two hours too late. You know, there’s all kinds of things you can come up with, right. But then we look at possibilities that come from the light. 

What lights you up? And the honoring ourselves. And then we listen to our inner guidance. We talk about how that works. How can we listen to our inner guidance a little bit better? If you did know the answer for what your next step should be, what would it be? 

And then, the power of gratitude is part of the ending of how to manifest. Of course, what you’re saying you would want. Like, you’re not going to just make a list of what you want and then drop it. You’re going to stop and look at what you already have and how that feels. And that gets you started on what’s next all throughout. 

We talk about wellbeing throughout. Like, what are the ways you take care of yourself? So in those five steps or the five weeks, there’s at the end, there’s a roadmap for what to do. And the roadmap comes from what I hear you say when you’re in my group, or in a one on one setting. So it really is just enough to get you where you go, Aha! This is what I haven’t been focused on, and this is what I’d like to choose first. And second and third to try. 

Susi: Yeah. And come with that childlike, you know, bring curiosity back to it that, you know, sense of exploration.

And I love that, you know, that roadmap is created from their words, you know, you’re reflecting back to them. And I think that’s the power, kind of the superpower of coaching, and also working through these programs. I have a friend who says you can’t read the label while you’re inside the jar, right. 

And sometimes we’re hard on ourselves. We can’t answer these questions that seem like they should be simple, but we’re in it, we’re in the weeds. And so to have that reflection with your experience, you know, is such a, kind of a head start, definitely gives them a leap over the turtle steps. Right. 

Like, “okay, yeah. That resonates with me,” as they learn what really does feel aligned, right. And that’s so empowering. And that takes me back to something else that you said, and I think is maybe a sticking point for a lot of people. So, in your work and with your appreciation and practice of mindfulness, I feel like a lot of people hear that and say, Nope, I can’t meditate. I tried it. I’m terrible. You know, tell me what else I can do. 

Do you have any, um, advice or support for people who are like, Nope, tried it. Not, no. Not for me. 

Julie: Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. So I have on my wall, “mindfulness helps you fall in love with the ordinary,” and that’s a Thich Nhat Hanh photograph and quote. 

I’ve taught meditation online and in person. And I know what you’re talking about, I really do. People come and say, yeah, I tried sitting quietly and I can’t do it. And what I say to them is, that’s not all there is. 

You know, Thich Nhat Hanh created walking meditation, but if you think about it, washing dishes is a dish washing meditation. And when you’re driving in the car. It’s funny, I’ve had most of my really cool ideas, like matchmaking this couple who’s now married – I mean, I’m not a matchmaker, but things that were outside the box, because I drive without music. I don’t have any podcasts or anything playing while I’m driving. So, so sorry, but I have silence. And so that to me is driving meditation. 

And walking meditation, I can just walk slowly through my house. There’s many different types of mindfulness that are not what you think of as, oh my god, I’m staring at my navel. 

Susi: Right. I love that. And that’s something I love, that you shared about – Even that driving time can be an opportunity for space. It’s something that I’ve started doing too, is not even having music on. And it definitely used to be a place for podcasts or catching replays on trainings and that sort of thing, because we always want to do more than we feel like we have time to do, right. So we try to make the most of every minute and we’re pushing ourselves all the time. 

And the power of creating that space is really extraordinary. So just those moments of peace can be so powerful. And I love that. Thank you for that permission. Mindfulness, doesn’t have to be sitting comfortably on the floor if it’s not comfortable for you, trying to clear your mind.

Mindfulness is just being aware, being present. 

Julie: And often it comes more easily when you’re just doing one thing at a time. So if you’re just doing the dishes or you’re just drying them, or folding laundry and you’re only doing that, that’s a very mindful activity. 

You’re still getting things done. You’re still, you know, making dinner. Cooking is quite an example of that, you know? So, I guess I have a quote and I’m not sure I’m going to remember it, but, you know, meditation is not something that you do on your to-do list. It’s a gift you give yourself. 

And it is what you just said. It’s just a little bit of space.

Susi: Love that. 

I love to ask when I have folks join me on the show, when you start feeling stressed, when you start feeling like life is swinging out of balance, do you have practices or go-to’s that help you come back to center? Now, I feel like mindfulness is probably a strong vote, and we could explore that some more too. Is there anything else that also is a part? 

Julie: Well, I have many, many different things I could recommend, but one of the things I often recommend, which is maybe too big, but it gives you the right idea. When it comes to, like busy professional women that are trying to wear four or five hats, I try to get them to think in terms of a half day mini-retreat in their week.

And it doesn’t, you know – You can fit it in anywhere. And I do it in a different sort of a style. I created my sort of menu style of a half day retreat and my half day retreats at this point, you know, I’m required to have certain number of retreats per year. But mine can be just like a two hour, Friday afternoon.

So I stopped the clock of my work on Fridays at two o’clock or whatever it is, and the rest of the day is mine. And I can do what I want, but the menu can be sitting with a book, it can be a nap. It can be a hot bath. It can be a walk,  by yourself, not a walk and talk. It can be all kinds of things. I do some of these energy practices, you know, energy medicine practices, things that are for me. 

And if I pick up from my menu, I actually do it in the morning. I call it 10 by 10. It’s for me. And I tell other people, you know, how easy it is to have a menu. 

I have like 20 things, and if I pick 10 of those things and I got all 10 of them done – It might be tapping, it might be silence sitting, it might be walking meditation, lots of different choices. And I got 10 of them done, and I don’t even care if it’s by 10. Whenever I got them done, I did alright. I did well that day. You know, I did some things for me and it feels accomplished and it feels good. And I feel like I have some space.

Susi: Yes, absolutely. And I love that because we don’t – When we don’t put it on the, the list, it doesn’t happen. And I’ve encouraged people to do something similar, to make a ‘Things that make me happy’ list, right. So that you’ve got something when you have, even if it’s five minutes, but ideally like you’re saying, book this time for yourself, two hours and say, what do I want from that list? I’m gonna go have a delicious salad or a nice hearty cup of soup. You know, what’s nourishing for me? 

Self-care, isn’t all those things that are marketed to us. But when we can draw from that list, or we know the menu that serves us, that takes a little bit of pressure off, and then it’s fun. It’s like, Ooh, today I want this and this, and that sounds perfect for me too. Because I deserve it. 

Julie: And it’s not doing for others. That’s sort of what it isn’t. It’s not on the computer. It’s not this, it’s not – all kinds of things that you are wanting it to not be, because that’s your normal, that’s your all the time. 

But a lady that was a client of mine in the short program, she started having little pieces of paper and she would draw one in the morning. And so today I, you know, before my husband gets up, I’m gonna do one of these things. And it was like knitting, and creating things, but all by herself and not for anyone. She was a busy grandma with a new husband and all this stuff, but she got to do something just for her that she drew out of a little hat every day on a piece of paper.

And it made her feel like her day was hers, even though most of the day wasn’t. 

Susi: Yes. Yeah. And that perspective is so powerful, you know, when we do find those little ways to put ourselves first, to make it a delight. Yeah, what’s it going to be today? 

You know, let it be a little bit of surprise. You know you’re going to like everything, because you got to make that menu, right? 

Julie: Right. It’s all good! Yeah, and the permission to deserve it. And then in the program, you know, the accountability to not just let it slide, but to make it happen. 

Susi: We do need that. It’s easy for life to get loud and come back in and take center stage again. So that support to keep ourselves on track, to keep ourselves centered is, is really tremendous.

Please tell folks how they can find you. We will have links in the show notes, but just in case they are doing more than one thing at a time, listening and doing… 

Julie: Well, my information online would be under jewelsofwellbeing.com. And my email is julie.little52 Gmail, and I’m on LinkedIn as my name and a lot of other places, YouTube channel and Instagram. And so I’ll have all those links for you. 

Susi: Marvelous. So we will have those in the show notes, and I’m so grateful to have you with me. Thank you for sharing your insights and pearls of wisdom. And I hope people do take a look, check out the book, Light on the Pond Scum, a Memoir. 

I think it’s a lovely perspective and I bet a lot of people can really relate to coming from a childhood full of change and looking to find that, you know, whether you like the word balance, whether you like the word harmony, whatever serves us moving forward.

So thank you for what you do. 

Julie: Thank you. Thank you for what you do as well. I appreciate being here. Take care. 

Susi: You too. Take good care. Thanks for joining us today.