Travia Steward is a Performance & Success coach who helps her clients reconnect with their ideal life vision and then dream even bigger, integrating the habits of that fully expressed person so they can create exponential results in their life. Ultimately, her mission is to inspire people to live a life that they are proud of, full of passion and purpose.

We explore her roots in theater, the journey to follow her heart and the wake up call that fueled her transition into coaching.

In this episode we discuss:

• The unique, multi-talented skills of ‘theater people’
• The value of theater as a place to explore human emotions and experience
• Stepping away from the safety net to answer the calling of purpose
• Becoming the person that you want to be without the “fake it til you make it” pitfalls
• Understanding your homeostasis so you can regain control of your ‘thermostat’
• Integrating your dream life with the life you’re living right now

Links to connect with Travia:

• Website & information about upcoming programs: https://www.traviasteward.com
• Reinvent You Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/reinvent- you-becoming-who-you-were-meant-to- be/id1514964939?i=1000475526644
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/trey.steward
• LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/travialsteward

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/traviasteward/

Susi Vine: I’m so happy. You’re with me this week to listen into my conversation with Travia Steward, a coach whose business and her podcast are called reinvent. You and she specializes in helping people break out of what is holding them back so they can live with integrity aligned with their true purpose and passion.

I know you’re going to get a lot out of this conversation with my fellow theater sister, we share thespian roots and a lot of similar perspectives. And we certainly get a little lit up when we talk about people, empowering themselves to be all that they have that potential to be. So I know you’re going to enjoy this conversation.

Listen in.

living in a stressful world. Doesn’t mean you have to give up on happiness instead. You can shift your perspective of stress and discover how to live your life in flow. Welcome to Happified. I’m your host Susi Vine. Join me for inspiration and interviews with folks we’re shining their light in the world in the areas of positive mindset.

And wellness. I’m so happy to have you here.

Let me ask you a question. How do you answer when stress call? It comes in on lots of different channels these days, sometimes as white noise and sometimes with bells and whistles blaring, you may try to power through working harder and pushing yourself to the limit in the hopes that doing all you can, will be enough to get you through stress can feel heavy, ominous and maybe hiding inside of any new email or notification on your computer.

What if instead you see stress as an opportunity to rise and thrive. What if stress not only strengthens you, but fuels your success? It’s not a dream and it’s not a secret that’s exclusive to the power players. If you shift your perspective, you can empower yourself to enjoy a radical shift in how you show up to stress and how stress shows up in your life.

I want to learn more. I have a special report for you that shares some tools you can easily incorporate to start putting stress to work for you. It’s available for free at life.com. Click on the gift button to pick up your report today.

Welcome back. I am so excited to have you with me today. For what I already know is going to be a phenomenal as Alan would say an awesome nominal conversation with my friend trivia Seward trivia is a performance and success coach who’s hired when people are tired of settling for the status quo. She helps them uncover the dreams that they’ve put on the back burner, dreams, even bigger, and then create exponential results in their life.

And that in a nutshell, that is like barely scratching the surface. So I know we’re going to do the Latin deeper today into the magic of trivia and your story. Cause I know it is a great one and really inspirational. So thank you Travia for making some time and joining me to. 

Travia Steward: Susi Vine. Thank you for inviting me.

I love, you know, one of the reasons why I do my podcast and I love being invited on again, is to have an excuse, to talk about the things that we can’t normally talk about with our friends who don’t want to talk about this kind of stuff, but on a podcast, we can just go there. So this is heaven for me.

Susi Vine: Well, and yes. And what is the name of your podcast? We want to make sure people check it out. Like 

Travia Steward: subscribe, tell their friends reinvent you

Susi Vine: check out Travia show reinvent you. And at some point I’m going to get to pop on over there. And it’s nice to be in the guests seat sometimes, right? Because when you’re like emission control, you’re like, where are we going? And what’s my time and how is this all gonna come together? And it’s nice to just sit back and, you know, just get to watch.

Travia Steward: Yup. I love it. I love it. You don’t have to prepare for anything. Just, just show up, which is 

Susi Vine: what it should be when we feel like showing up right. Authentically and being our fullest selves. Like a lot less effort to that, right? Yeah, it 

Travia Steward: is. When we let go of the shoulds and the musts, we must do this because society.

Our parents, our loved ones have placed those things on us. Right. So when we just drop those things and go, you know what, I’m gonna just hang out with Susie today. I was what I’m talking about. We going to have a good time guaranteed. 

Susi Vine: Good time trivia. Please tell us a little bit about your journey. Mine has been a winding path.

I share that all the time on the show. So I love meeting fellow Wanderers. 

Travia Steward: Yes. You know, I’ve always known. And you don’t really realize that, that you knew it then, but it wasn’t until I started doing the work as a life coach and I go, oh my God, I’ve always, I’ve always known this. So really quick. I remember.

The person that had the, the first impact on me was my fifth grade teacher. And her name was Ms. Gaudin. She was my fifth grade teacher, and then I went to the middle school. She then became my eighth grade teacher because she went to teach junior high, you know, and I just remember that she was the first person that made me feel accepted, fully accepted.

Seeing her and appreciate it. And I never forgot that. And I remember I always wanted to be in her presence. I always, I want it to be her favorite, all these things. And so what happened was I graduated from college and I goes, oh, I want to go into theatrical lighting. But I wasn’t really connecting with people.

And so I was like, I don’t feel like I’m making a difference here. I’m just, I’m working kind of in a warehouse and this is kind of cool. I’m making really great money, but I’m not connecting with anybody. And I don’t think I’m impacting anybody with lights. And so I, like, I had friends who were teachers and I was like, you know what?

I miss doing theater. I think. Maybe I’ll give this a try. And I remember I walked in, I didn’t have a lick of experience as a teacher and I wa I, and I waited until school was going to start like the next week, because if you put your resume in months ahead, no, no, they’re going to take the more qualified people that, and then just gonna throw your, the desperate folks are going to pick up your resume because you’re the only one a week before.

That’s what I did. I had a school district that called me and this was in east Texas. And he said, you know, I had a theater degree. I played college softball. He wanted somebody to coach one. I did direct one act, play, teach speech, and what coach softball. And I was like, holy shit. And so he started asking me, he’s like, well, what do you know about Bloom’s taxonomy?

And I said, nothing, but you know what? I can learn. He hired me on the spot that day sent me to the next building to talk to the superintendent. Cause it was a small school and that was my job. And so I taught theater for 24 years, but then Susie, this is where we probably have this in common. I know we have some theater in our background, but there was a moment I taught high school theater for a long time, for over two decades.

Right. And then there came a moment where I was like, I can do this blindfolded. Is this as good as it gets? Am I going to just look forward to retiring? Am I just going to keep doing this and I just wasn’t fulfilled anymore. And then, you know, I got my own, my first life coach, I went to Brendon Burchard, high performance academy, and I was just always crying.

I don’t know what’s happening. I got into, you know, just this whole, everything was coming over me. And the clarity came when I was at the gym on the spinning. Because I was listening to like Moda, Versiti Les brown, Tony Robinson, and I’m crying and I’m up and I’m really going in. Cause it’s a hard deal, but you know, you’re not feeling it because I’m like, this is it.

This is what I’m supposed to do. And in that moment I had clarity and I was overcome with so much emotion that I said, okay, this is the thing. This is my next chapter. So, yeah, so I, I may have drawn that out a little more than I thought I would, but that’s how it happened. And then I’ll tell you what the catalyst was that made it happen faster.

Susi Vine: All right. I’ll throw in some side notes and then we will get to the catalyst because that has always, I mean, that wasn’t enough, like having your little moment in the throws of it, you think you’ve got clarity, but what life has one more thing to give to you? Yes, but it’s true. And people when they think of theater or they’ve been involved in it or they hear, oh, you’ve worked in theater like that, that’s amazing.

I love the arts or we need more of the arts. It’s so important. And it is so important for our kids to have this opportunity. I definitely am super. I remember very clearly my high school drama teacher. She was a love Ms. Latisha Escobar, and her, her shout out and a Spanish teacher. And I wanted to be a Spanish major and a theater minor, but then.

Theater sounded like more fun and off. I went down that path until I heard a stage manager say, I used to feel like I was so important and so integral to the process and really developing and holding the vision and supporting the cast and guiding the performance. And then I realized I was just enabling.

And it was one of those moments where like, those are the words I haven’t been able to find because in regional theater and opera festivals, you’re making extraordinary art, you’re working with top tier people and you’re creating things that are safe because you have to keep the subscribers coming back.

Or, you know, the show has to pencil out. My husband loves to say pencil out. Right? You can really take big chances when you’re putting on really big productions. The real breakthroughs happen in. And the real growth I think happens in high school. When the place where you can really explore emotions, you haven’t felt brave enough to get into or situations which you would never meet.

Otherwise they happen in high school when you’re on the stage for the first time, or you are like going all out till opening night, you know, late. Painting the set and hanging the lights and doing that backstage stuff. When I know you feel me there, I love, I lighting people, amazing acrobats of ladders and lifts.

And so, and so I just wanted to honor that like theater is so important in so many different ways, and I’ve also heard it said, and I wholeheartedly agree that people who come from theater make the best, whatever they do now. If it’s employees, if it’s business leaders, if it’s coaches, if it’s teachers, like we have such a diverse skill set, because we really are creative problem solvers.

Like what’s the budget, what’s the deadline, you know, we just get fit and, and shine, make it look easy. Right. So it’s, it’s, I love to see where we go after we’ve been in theater. So it’s 

Travia Steward: always interesting. Nice. Nice. Thank you for that. 

Susi Vine: Absolutely. And so, so then just when you thought, okay, I’ve got this style then coaching, helping people be who they want to be, be the best they can be, but wait, 

Travia Steward: there’s more.

Yes. Wait, there’s more because I’m the type of person who I have all these ideas and I don’t and I go, yeah, I’m going to make that happen. When am I going to make that happen? When after this, when this thing happens, when I get my goal weight, when I make more money, when I ever replaced my teaching salary, then I will quit and go full-time coach.

And then one of the things was because I was so inspired by Brendon Burchard and Les brown. And I was like, I want to speak, I want to speak on stages. And then here it is Susie. I said, but I don’t think I have a big enough story. Because people that I hear who speak on stage, they have these life altering moments, you know, near life, death experiences.

I was like, I don’t have a big enough story. So I was still teaching. I was coaching and teaching at the same time at the beginning of 2020. And then. I went for a mammogram lifetime ago, 

Susi Vine: the beginning of 2020. Oh yeah. I know you didn’t just have everyone. Else’s 2020, right. 

Travia Steward: I had quite a different 2020, and it took me a minute to realize what was happening.

So I was diagnosed with early stage breast cancer in January of 2020. And of course did all the things because you’re not going to be real dramatic too. You know, that theater comes in handy, you know, you know, just the whole thing. And then it’s like, you know, pull yourself together. Okay. And then, you know, I had my moments where I was like, okay, what do I do with this?

And then what really lit the fire was the cancer that, oh shit, I’m cancer doesn’t even run in my family. I feel like this is my. Fire that it’s like make those moves now, Suzy, I had the world’s shut down, tinker COVID on March 11th. I had a double mastectomy on March 11th. I was planning on going to a rich Litvin’s intensive in San Diego.

I was directing to see the stars of full length, a full link drama for our spring play. And I was like, I’m just going to be off three weeks. I’m coming back. I’m a direct that show. Well, the world shut down. I never set foot back in that building until it was time to go and get my stuff. And I always said, I’m never going to quit teaching until I replace my team, my coaching staff, my teaching salary, I’m going to go and coach.

And then that year it was like, no, that’s not what you’re supposed to do. Okay. You don’t have a big enough story. Bam. Here it is. How about that? And Susie, and if I can, if I can speak to. How, what a transformation that whole thing took me through because when I talk about stepping into helping other people step into their authentic selves, it’s because I was living the majority of my life until I was like, you know, 40.

45. I didn’t get married till I was 44. Right. Because I didn’t think it was okay to marry a woman. It wasn’t, it was legalized. We got married the next year. And so my journey of transformation, I felt such shame and guilt. And what happened was through cancer. I was able to reconnect with who I was, my breasts weren’t in the way anymore, because I was like a double D they weren’t in the way.

So I didn’t have to just hide all the time because I want people looking at them and staring at them. And then I felt like now, like the person I am today has no reason to hide. And so it was a catalyst for my internal, yet external transformation and my professional career. So all the things yeah.

Susi Vine: And to your point too. This show isn’t all about theater, but it’s funny how, how many strings there are through this? When you say you didn’t feel like you were living authentically, like you were being all that you can be. Right? Because a lot of, a lot of us struggle. I have struggled with holding my own space and not just fitting in and making it easy for other people.

I don’t need to. Wait for other people to make space for me, I can accommodate that. It’s not that much of an inconvenience. I’ll wait my term, whatever, whatever story it is we come up with. And I think it’s really important to recognize. I think you went through this, this process and. Storybook. I mean, your story has got to be written clearly.

But all of the insights and ahas and Epiphanes, but when we come to that moment, at which we realize, I mean, what is the quote by a niacin? You know, the moment came when it was too uncomfortable to remain curled tightly in a book. I just, I just destroyed that quote, but there’s a point at which staying closed and not opening up and sharing your light is John.

Too uncomfortable. There’s not enough life for us to wait anymore. 

Travia Steward: Oh my goodness. That’s so true. I feel like I had several of those molds. You know, I mean, it’s sometimes like one time it came and a student performing a monologue, you know, she was up there doing her monologue house was like, is this the last time?

Or what am I gonna do with this? Because this kind of thing. And so it came in a moment of me talking to one of my friends who said, you know she works as a police officer and she’s just looking forward to retiring. And I was like, oh, I never want to retire. I want to continue doing something that I love for the rest of my life.

And the most pivotal time it came was when I, one of the, the last few conversations I had with my mother before she passed in 2017. I asked her, cause my mom lived to be 85 and I said, mom, you know, I always, I was an inquisitive kid, which is why I like the podcasts. I like that. It’s got these questions that get asked over a beer.

Right. Unless it depends on the person I’m talking to. So I asked my mom about six months before she passed. And I said, mom, you know, you live to be 85 years. What are you the most proud of in your 85 years? And she couldn’t come up with anything, Susie. She didn’t in that moment. Not even her five kids. She didn’t say that, you know, and my mom was witty and she joked a lot.

But then that moment, I’m not sure that she was proud of her 85 years on this earth. So I turned that question back to myself and I analyze it. I ruminated on it for months and months and months. And I was like, I don’t want to be that person who lives to be 185 or a hundred who has regrets. I’ve got to do this now because tomorrow’s not promised.

So it came in so many different ways and that it was just the second I. When things are not going, according to my expectations and my plans. And then that’s when I go, I don’t want to do this anymore now. And so the universe knows it needs to send me it. Like, you know, it made it easier. So I had the motivation to quit teaching, but I also, it was like, oh, I gotta have talent.

I gotta have people who want my help. You know? Well then that number started getting smaller and smaller and smaller in high school. So I was like, shit, I’m now just. Okay. What I’m doing is motivating, inspiring more. I’m not just teaching anymore. Cause I’m motivating them to, Hey, this is how much it’s going to help you.

There’s so I wasn’t just teaching theater anymore. So I was like, oh my goodness. And I, the last year I was there, there were times like we had a study hall that was in integrated into one of my classes. I started doing meditation twice a week with the kids, stress and anxiety. Let’s just take 10 minutes.

And you know what, in some of the kids are like, I don’t want that time. And so I was like, okay, well you just pretend that you do this as theater. Just act like you love it, but there were some stunt, right. Just act like you love it. But there were some kids who said, Ms. Stewart, I love this time in your class.

Because I was starting to balance it out and listening to the great birds and go, okay, we’re only going to do it once a week. You know, like we love it. We look forward to this. So I was like, take that, you know, you be quiet in the corner. So it came in all sorts of moments of, of, okay, I know I’ve been resisting this, but I’ve got to step into my full potential.

Now again, another long answer. 

Susi Vine: That’s okay. It’s all the right stuff that’s coming up. And I think I love that too, that, that balance between looking around and saying, is it landing yet? Are people inspired yet? Are they coming and knocking on my door yet versus right. Like, what’s the, what’s the mission we’re on?

What will we do to, to light people up? Right. I’ve had friends say. Stress is a hard sell girl. What are you talking about? Like people know they’re stressed out. They don’t want to spend more time thinking about it. And my answer to that as well. It’s the common denominator. We can all start a conversation from here and recognize.

Things can change. We can make a shift, you know, we don’t have to settle for what it is. And so I love what you share and you go live on Facebook. I was just telling you, I love the video that you shared today and the message that comes to you. I think that that the right message comes through at the right time.

And so how do you, how are you getting in touch with what message needs to come through for. 

Travia Steward: You know, it’s in the moments when I go, oh, this is exactly what needs to happen. And I made that video like 30 minutes before I got on the call. I mean, because I started, I hit record and went, ah, is if.

And then I kind of started stumbling because I was trying to use other people’s words. Right. And so I was like, and so I’m much better. Like I’ve never been one who followed a script. Even when I acted in high school in college, they would go like, girl, you have got to stay on script on book. You just, you can’t just go off and do your own thing.

I always end. So I do better extemporaneously and impromptu. And so when I speak from the heart and then I go. I been, so one thing that I initially started doing Suzy was I was when I first like, go, I’m going to be full-time coach theater. I never did it before. I don’t want anybody to know I did theater, blah, blah, blah, blah.

No kidding. And I was like, because people aren’t going to take me seriously. If they knew I was a teacher before and now I’m a coach and I went, holy shit. But your whole foundation of transformation is theatrical. How can you not own that? And so whenever I go with. Theater is such a part of me. And that’s what I use to help people reinvent themselves, to become the person you need to be staying at the things that you want in life, because if you already had them, you know, if you were already that person, you already have what you wanted.

And so my theater background helps me to do those things. And so just coming full circle with the message of just speak from my heart. And whenever I just go, I’m just going to turn it on. I’m just going to start talking. I always find that those are the best times, because I’m not trying to be something that I’m not , 

Susi Vine: which speaks to exactly what I think that you are on this mission to share, which is that discomfort that comes from.

Holding ourselves back, dimming our shine, fitting into something that is not what we are. And so I am struck to ask, you know, if even the process of reinventing ourselves some people love to say fake it till you make it. And some people say, hell no, that is not going to work for you. So where do you fall in that?

Is it a tool? 

Travia Steward: It is absolutely a tool. And I never use the words of faking it till you make it. Because even in my theater, in my directing, I was never an advocate for act like the character. No, you become the character. And I remember, and there was always a difference in something that I always did. And this is kind of some of the things that I do with my characters whenever I always made my actors have an extensive.

Character lists. Backstory. What is your moment before? How many given circumstances are you playing right now? How many beats are you using to accomplish those things? Scene objectives overall. I mean, just the gamut. You are girl. Yes, I am. I am with a little bit of Meisner, ho. I love it. And what I would do Susie is I would go in like, sometimes it would be like B before dress rehearsal, sometimes just rehearsal and Susie’s playing Juliet.

And I would say I would go in as a character from that time period and go, Juliette, what are you doing out here when you’re supposed to be at home? And then the kids knew me so well. Like I would just jump out one time. I would be Ms. Stewart, the next time I’d be like, no, I ain’t the old lady from the square.

What are you doing here? And they’d be like, oh, and to go to the store and I was like, stop it, you go with it. And so they learn. It’s like, okay, at any moment, because I wanted them to become the character. I don’t do this act as if, and so I was. If the clients that I’m working with right now, we see the future version.

If it’s theatrical, you see the outcome, you know, where the character wants to go, right. There’s a full evolution, but now what is the difference between we’re not going to act like we’re, we have become that character right here, and then we’re going to take the character arc to full fruition. So I don’t act as if we become from day one.

Susi Vine: I love that. I love that. I used to freshman year, I used to write quotes that amused me down and like litter, my wall and the dorm with them. And one of my friends, we were doing monologues and beginning acting and it was very much, you know, she started to get notes and she’s, she just knew she had.

Related that she hadn’t dropped into it. She says, wait, wait, wait, let me show you my motivation, which is such a perfect illustration, right? Like, I’m going to show you my motivation or call it your why. Right. Instead of embodying it, you don’t need to show anybody if it is in you, you don’t have to fake it till you make it.

You don’t have to step into it. 

Travia Steward: So true God. So true. So, yeah, so that’s where I land Suzy. 

Susi Vine: I love it. I love it. And so how do you work with people? Do you do one-on-one work? How do, how do people connect with 

Travia Steward: them? So right now I’m actually re I’m full with one-on-one work. I have a couple of people who will be, you know, always go graduating in like the next month.

And so, and I did realize that I’m full at 12. It’s like, I don’t have the bandwidth for more than that. One-on-one so people can work with me. It’s a little, it’s a little bit of a wait list right now, but they can work with me. One-on-one and I offer two types of coaching. I do full coaching, our new laser coaching.

So the laser coaching is like half the price it’s for like 12 weeks. And there are 30 minute calls and we go, wherever you need me to do. During that 30 minute time, because it’s more it’s laser, right? The full coaching is five months. It’s five months. If the call mean you have access to me like through WhatsApp, as a matter of fact and some people, some.

Go once a week or sometimes I give them the choice of going biweekly. And I have you know, I have clients who are on different versions of that, but my next big junk Susie is I am launching my first ever group coaching program. And so it is called creating your own. It’s what I’m about. I think so many people, like, I wish my mother had taken that class.

I wish she would have gone through it. And then she wouldn’t be looking and scanning her life at 85 going, I don’t know what I’m proud of. I didn’t take any of those dreams to the grave with me. So creating your more that group. So the cart’s going to open on Tuesday as a matter of fact, and it’s going to stay open until October 15th.

So for 10 days, and I know, you know, I used to real get real panicky about it and go, oh, who’s gonna sign up and all these things, but I know that there are people. Who are already destined to work with me. I know that my people are out there. Paige confirmed that yesterday. Paige talk to the angels and so people can work with me one-on-one or they can join my group program, create your more, and that’s going to be a 12 week experience and I, 100% believe it’s a profound experience.

Susi Vine: I know it will be. I know it will be on at whatever point in time people find our show. They can go to your website. We’re going to have that link in the show notes and find out what is coming up. What’s available. Get on the wait list. 

Travia Steward: Absolutely. To get some 

Susi Vine: of this genius. And so we, we went way off book.

I’m glad that you’re an off-book kind of a girl. I do think it’s important to check back and I love that you started instilling this in the high school students, right? Stress balancing and tuning into meditation. What are some of your, are there other tools that you love that when people come to you and they’re like, I can’t even think straight, there is so much going on.

Are there some tools that you like. We’ll come back. 

Travia Steward: So the whole thing that like the very first call when I get on, when people’s like, I wanna work with you. We have, we make agreements. We do the same. So the, the next thing I do is we have to figure out where your homeostasis is. Where is homie at? Right.

I know it’s a real science-y word, but it’s true science. Right? Right. And so my wife is a microbiologist, so she loves the word homeostasis. She goes, you know, people just make up anything. That’s science. 

Susi Vine: That’s not Koji. That’s not what we 

Travia Steward: that’s science. 

Susi Vine: We can’t be unsafe or wound doesn’t have to be unscientific, deep, profound, meaning these are brilliant.

Travia Steward: Yes they are. And so, you know, the thoughts that show up in the mind, I’ve already shown up in the body. So the very first call I teach my clients. You have to know where your homeostasis is. So when you’re knocked out of that homeostasis, you go, oh shit, I got a tightness in my chest. What just happened? Oh, because so-and-so looked at me and rolled their eyes and now I’m feeling some kind of way.

Cause I made it mean all these things. Right. And so immediately, so many of us 

Susi Vine: don’t recognize when out of it. So thank you. That’s so important. Learn to recognize you in balance. So when you are out of balance, you’re like. We need to shift back, what do we need to do? 

Travia Steward: Right. One of the benchmarks for my clients.

Cause I always have them make this checklist. Susie will know when she’s living her best life win. Right. And one of the staples that have to go in that I demand that you agree to. This is whatever time that is. You will only be affected negatively from negative situations or thoughts and limiting beliefs or whatever for less than a minute.

And then you’re going to bust bump, bounce back up to homeostasis. Ooh, a little 

Susi Vine: package. I love it. You’re like my own Ted lasso.

And if anybody’s not watching them on apple, I suggest wait till season two is done and then bitch.

Travia Steward: So yeah, so that’s what I do. I find that it’s a thing that helps me. And it’s the thing that, you know, once I instill it into my clients and then they go, oh my God. Yeah. I’m so much more aware of. Because it becomes a domino effect when you’re not aware, you know, one thing pissed you off and pissed in your coffee at seven 30 in the morning when you’re still pissed about that one thing.

And then somebody does something at two 15. It’s like, why was so pissed? That was nothing. Well, could you have a person in your coffee at seven 15 and you didn’t recognize it? So it was just bam, bam, bam, bam, bam. Now all the dominoes over you’ve 

Susi Vine: been doing nothing but reacting ever since. Right. Completely given up control over the situation.

Travia Steward: Yes. Giving other people, your thermostat is what I call it too. Ooh, that’s good. Cause they’re going this Suzy off and Susie doesn’t know how to cut her, how to react in a, in a nice Suzy kind of way. So as soon as he goes off, you know, that whole thing. So yeah. It’s like the mad puppeteer back there. Right.

Great Oz. But yeah, and that’s what it’s like, because we just give people control over. The external circumstances. It’s like, we can choose how we react to those things, but you have to first know what the reaction is doing to you. 

Susi Vine: Beautiful. Awesome. And then to build on that, I’m going to, I’m going to get as many free, amazing tips from you as can possibly can.

Everybody’s going to be so hooked. There’ll be onto your page next. What have you found to be the most supportive in helping you to balance or recover from stress? 

Travia Steward: Well, it’s that it is also, I mean, I meditate every day and. What helps me to balance, like right now I’m in a, you know, I ha like this week was, I feel pretty stressful for me.

And what I find is that, you know, I’m a fan of human design as well. I’m a generator. And so I’m designed to not make major decisions right now. I need to sleep on it. Th there w there was a major decision I made a couple of weeks ago, a financial major decision, and it was tearing me up because I made it in the moment and then I regretted it and regretted it and regretted it.

And so I was like, oh my God. And so I was losing sleep, all these things meditating longer. And when I went back and said, if something, when I roll those words through my. And if it doesn’t bring me joy, if there’s an inkling of stress and tightness in my chest, then I don’t do it. That’s what brings me back.

Every single time now because I have to feel good and I have to make sure it it’s the same feeling the next day, because I can be on an emotional high, my emotions as a female. You know, we lead with our hearts and our emotions. Men leave with their heads there. But I know that I can trick myself because that’s kind of like you go out and you hang out and you’re drinking with your friends is like, yeah, maybe I’ll quit my job tomorrow.

Let’s all go though, sell all our things and let’s go have a go fund in Greece. Let’s just go live in Greece. But that sounds good right now. And then tomorrow I’ll be like, what the shit did I do? That was the beer and the fireball wholly. So to keep myself, you know, pull out like an umbilical cord, which is horrible for me to say, but pull out the, the situation and go.

Now, when I run that question through my mind, do I have peace? Do I have excitement? Do I have joy? That is the thing that I use. 

Susi Vine: And that is why you have to know where your homeostasis is because you have lost touch with how you feel separate from how other things trigger you and make you feel how your friends can pump you up.

And yes, let’s all move to Greece 

Travia Steward: for a couple of years, but I don’t know about tomorrow. All 

Susi Vine: right. It’s going to unfold in its own time, but, and that’s something that I really love to shine a light on too. There’s so much input coming in from so many different channels. A lot of us have totally don’t even know what that signal sounds like.

Don’t even know what our body is, you know, what is, what is trying to say until it starts like blasting out alarms and like 

Travia Steward: you’re going to be late sometimes. Yeah. Yeah. 

Susi Vine: And unfortunately, sometimes it is altogether too late. 

Travia Steward: Right. 

Susi Vine: Yeah. So so I love that tuning in and, and taking time. I appreciate that I’m a generator to.

I’m a power generator.

senators for you. There’s a band that should still be playing. Oh, someday we’ll be at a concert together. I know that.

And one more question. And just to remind folks, all the information ways to connect with trivia will be in the show notes. So do follow up and keep on. Keeping up with her because she shares brilliance just like this all the time, Facebook too. She’s so available. 

Travia Steward: When 

Susi Vine: priorities do start to crowd in, especially so we are in a situation, we took that COVID kick in the butt and said, oh, Okay.

Not a day job for me right now, making my own hours. We are creating our own enterprise, but some people do have that nine to five. They have that clocking in and not everybody needs to be an entrepreneur. Like your wife doesn’t have to be your career. But when it comes to priorities and balancing that, do you have any tips on how people can still feel alive?

Yes, 

Travia Steward: this is exactly what I talked about in my, in my video today. And so I believe that the reason why people fall out of alignment like during the week is because we allow, we are just reacting. Right. So all the things burning go, oh, okay. Even if you love your job, we still leave out the parts that make us feel alive.

So if you go to vacation and go, oh, I feel so good. I got to listen to the waves. I got to drink coffee on my balcony. I took a walk. Okay. You can do all those things Monday through Friday. Right. And so what happens is we segment. This is my job. This is my work and work comes first. Okay. That’s fine.

Working come first, but where can you go? Oh, between nine and nine 30. I’m going to leave the building. I’m not going to sit at my desk and eat. I’m going to go take a walk. Why? Because I did that on vacation and I love that. How about I go and have drinks with my, well, maybe not during the day, but maybe after work, you go and have drinks, but you can go and have lunch right in the middle of the day.

So I’m an, I’m an advocate for. I believe if you give yourself enough of the things that you love, especially during the Workday, that when those things come across your desk, when those things is like, God, I hate balancing the, the data here and the, you know, when those things happen, you go, but I just had a great fun as lunch with my bay and I’m telling I’m feeling good.

Yeah. Bring those, those numbers in here. That’s what I’m talking about. So you fill yourself up, right. And so, but if you never take the time. To fill yourself up then all you’re doing. Gosh, shit. Another chart. Oh my God. I gotta do a report for them. Oh my God. I got to go try to pump somebody up. I’m not pumped up myself.

I don’t pump somebody else up. Right. She got fill your cup with the things that you love, not just on Saturday and Sunday, but every single day. Yes, 

Susi Vine: hallelujah. And that was my response. When I heard you say that, because I reached that point when I was still in my day job when I was still clocking in and I loved what I was doing and I love the clients, but I didn’t love the grind.

I didn’t love the extra hours. I didn’t love the late night messages. I would wake up on Monday and be like, oh man, is it Friday yet? Like, I cannot do this for five days. This weekend was not enough. Right. And so many it’s, it’s hard to pull ourselves out of that. Right. So I love that inspiration, that call to action, to identify some things that juice you up that make you feel like you’re having a little vacation over your lunch hour, or, you know what I mean are doing some music, you know, do, do what serves you and, and make a shift rather than saying.

Saturday morning, I’m going to sleep in and it’s going to make up for this whole week full of misery that I didn’t get action and start to shift. Now isn’t enough to go around 

Travia Steward: it. Isn’t it isn’t so, yeah, I love doing that. And that was one of the reasons why I said I wanted to be an entrepreneur because it’s like, you know, one of the things I always wanted was flexibility.

The structure of working in a high school did not afford me that. So I’m like, you know what? I’m not going to schedule a call at two. I’m going to go work at. You know, and so I love doing those types of things, but I give myself what I need daily. 

Susi Vine: Yes. And I will say too, you’re making me think, because having not been an entrepreneur before this part of my life, talking with people about stress and reaching a point at which I’ve been more stressed and closer to burnout than I have ever been in my life.

It’s all about the. And if we let ourselves be run by the work, by the commitments, by other people’s ideas of what is a priority, then why are we taking that risk? And, you know, putting our hearts into what we’re doing. So taking the wheel and making choices and being clear about what serves us, doesn’t it.

We have to keep track of that all the way along the way we certainly 

Travia Steward: do. Yes. 

Susi Vine: Yes. I love it. So many great ideas. Is there anything we didn’t have a chance to get to or any parting shots you want to leave people with? 

Travia Steward: I do have one thing that I want to just share that. So when I talked about my cancer struggle, One of the biggest changes that I made after that was my mindset.

I was a person before that who was going, I was, you know, if you, if you know what saboteurs are, you know, my hypervigilant was first. So I always worried, like I would drive to, to school. And it was an MD Anderson cancer center on the right. And I wouldn’t look, you don’t look over there. You’re gonna turn a stone.

You’re going to turn a stone. And so. I 100% percent believe that I was creating an environment with my thoughts that helped that cancer to show up. Now it showed up early. So I’m thankful for that. But one of the biggest shifts was in my mindset as well. And so when we’re talking about stress, when we’re talking about anxiety and how to make go through your day, Reframing those things endless, just like this is okay.

How can I look at that as a challenge? Because I get to use my creativity to figure that out. Right. And so shifting my mindset to not seeing the glass, I mean, I’ve always been an optimistic person, but sometimes it was like, I saw the struggle in figuring that out before I go, I got it. And I would have to sort of go, okay, pat myself on the back, talk myself into what you got it, you know, I’ve always been a coach.

I was like, you know what? The mindset and so leading with gratitude coming from a place of. Here potentiality. We have the potential to be great. We have the potential to live the life that we want to live. It starts with controlling the thoughts in your mind that create the feelings that store in your body that prevent us, or motivate us to take action.

I just wanted to share that. See, 

Susi Vine: we could have it a whole nother up. We could start over. I now I am, I am right now digging into positive intelligence ensures ad show means work. He is tour guy and he’s terrific. And his story really shines a light on it. You know, he had to call us all with this himself.

Yeah, and his insights are profound and immediately you start to be more aware and I read is it Rick Carson’s book, taming your gremlin a bit back, and it’s a really great way of. Taking another perspective or how to reckon with that, with that inner voice, with that inner critic, with your gremlin and seeing it as, as a relationship, as opposed to a, you know, a confrontation or trying to mute it or wrestle it or fight it out.

And so sure. Even takes it a step further in kind of categorizing, quantifying there’s a little more structure to it rather than naming and illustrating your own gremlin, but to look at these saboteurs and just be aware. Yeah. Which all goes back to your initial point. What is your homeostasis? And when this voice starts coming in, or this reaction, this reflexive response to something.

That doesn’t feel like me. Where is that coming from? What’s that motivation? Is it hypervigilance? Is it people pleasing? Is it avoiding? I’m gonna share a couple mile and little saboteurs right there. Yeah. It’s. Really great introspection. So that’s thanks for bringing that up. If people want to dig into that, but of course you could just go to the source, connect with trivia, look for her videos on YouTube, on her Facebook page.

And if she doesn’t have a group, I’m sure she’s putting one together because he’s a phenomenal communicator and a connector like myself. 

Travia Steward: Thank you so much, Susan. This has been fantastic. So yeah, these are the conversations that I want to have with people and, but I can only have them with fellow podcasters.

All right. We’re bringing 

Susi Vine: it. We’re breaking it down. I love it. I’m so glad you made time for joining us today. Thanks for hopping on the show. 

Travia Steward: You’re welcome. Thanks for inviting you on the show, Susie. This has been incredible. And thank you just for the platform that you shared with me. I appreciate it so much.

Susi Vine: It is my pleasure. It’s been a treat. Yeah. No. I thank you, my dear, have a wonderful rest of your day. Do you could care of yourself and I’ll talk to you 

Travia Steward: soon. Thank you, Susie. You too. All right.